What Happens When I Don't Listen

Before Ryan, Heather and family we left the adults wanted to go out with no kids so we could actually talk.  We arranged to get a sitter and I was busy trying to get the house somewhat clean and fix dinner.  Eliza was really grumpy and just wanted to be held but I did not have time for it.  I eventually picked her up and put her on the counter next to the stove where I was cooking and she was content.  She loves helping to stir.  I was right beside her as I cooked but the thought came to me to move her off the counter.  I know that it is not safe but I was right there and she wasn't whining so I left her.  The thought came again and I ignored it.  I turned 45  degrees to put a dish in the sink and in that split second she slipped and her hand fell on the hot stove and she got burned so bad and was screaming.  I quickly picked her up and put her hand under cold water.  The skin on her hand turned white and felt like leather.  Heather was there and took a picture and sent it to her brother-in-law whose a pediatrician.  He said she would probably be okay until the morning if she calmed down but to take her in the morning.  Eliza eventually calmed down and seemed okay so we decided to take her with us to dinner.  I really didn't want to miss out on this last night with my family.  Eliza was such a trooper and was a happy camper.  You would have never known anything was wrong with her.

We ended up not taking her into the doctor because she was so good but an uneasy feeling kept bugging me.  The burned skin was starting to peel off and I wasn't sure how to care for it so on New Year's Day we took her in and it was not good.  The whole side of her hand was a third degree burn.  It was most likely not hurting because she had damaged the nerves and lost feeling.  Our pediatrician sent us to the burn clinic at the U of U and there we were given the worst case scenario.  We were told she will need physical therapy and may need skin grafts later on and what not.  For the first week we wrapped it in gauze after slathering it with Silvadene cream.  We went to the burn clinic every week to see how her burn was healing and Eliza was always so compliant.  It was the cutest thing and the nurses and doctors just ate her up.  She would just hold out hand and not complain or anything.  She was really good through the whole ordeal.  She hated having her hand washed but did it and was always relieved to have it wrapped again.  After two weeks the burn was healing well and so all she had to wear was a compression bandage all the time to try to prevent scarring.  It has now been 6 weeks and the new skin has developed and we are to start taking the bandage off for a couple hours each day.  It seems to be healing nicely.

We live in Utah where there are so many kids and I have been to a lot of doctors while I lived here and I have always just felt like another number.  They always try to get us in as fast as they can and out just as fast.  It's never personal.  I'm fine with it.  I don't need them as a friend but it would be nice to feel like they care about you just a little.  Well at the University Hospital I have never been treated with such kindness and care.  Every visit we saw about 4 different doctors/nurses and each one treated us with such care.  I was really blown away.  I have never had that experience with a doctor before.  I just have to give them props.  All this clinic does is deal with burns and I'm sure they see some pretty bad cases so being compassionate is a must.  

The first week there was a lot of this.  Just snuggling my little baby.  

But for the most part this is how she was.  I really have been amazed at how well Eliza has handled it all.  She is one tough cookie.  I've said it so many times but I am so glad that we chose Grace for her middle name because she is my little Saving Grace at times.  Such a happy little girl.

It's taken me a long time to write this post because I feel so much guilt because it was totally my fault.  What's so hard is the still small voice told me twice to move her and I didn't listen.  I was too busy, too busy, too busy to take my sweet, precious little girl out of harms way.  If I would have listened she would not have to have suffered and would not have a huge scar on the side of her hand for the rest of her life and a little loss of mobility in her pinky.  There were several nights when I just cried as I held and rocked her before putting her to bed.  I would never want to hurt her and yet I did and it makes me think of all the other time maybe that I've been too busy to hear those promptings.  It has really made me reevaluate my life and how I spend my time and the activities I am involved in.  It's been a huge wake up call that's for sure.  I love all my children and just hope that I can be the mom they need at each stage of their life and listen to that sweet Spirit as it prompts me to say and do the things they need to be both physically and spiritually safe.