The Month of February in Review

So it's finally the end of the month and looking back I think it's been a pretty good one as far as keeping up with my goals from the first of the year.

Fitness: I am proud to say that I met my fitness goals for the last two months. I have been doing pretty good about going to bed by 10:30 and I'm usually up by 6:15. I have been exercising the last two months for 30 minutes a day Mon-Fri. I only missed three days from when I was sick and one day that was a holiday. The first 6 weeks I only did the treadmill, walking at a 10% incline at 4mph. It was hard enough that I worked up a sweat but slow enough that I was able to read a book at the same time. Made the time go by so fast. Well after 6 weeks I had not lost a single pound so I was pretty discouraged. Here's my weight story. After my first 2 kids I got back to my normal 120. After Mikey I stayed at 125 and after Lucy I stayed at 130 but once I stopped nursing Lucy I went up to 135. I don't care so much about the weight but I definitely have extra fat on my body. It's around my tummy and I notice it in my face as well. I hate the tummy fat. Weight is the easiest way to measure progress so that's what I go by. I'd love to get back down to 120 but that's not going to happen so I'm shooting for 125. When the treadmill wasn't working I decided to try Jillian Michaels again. I felt like I was a little stronger at least in my legs so was ready for the challenge. I did the trouble zone video first and was so sore for 5 days. I decided to go back to the treadmill. I then did the 30 day shred video and was able to do level 1 with very little trouble so for the last 2 1/2 weeks I've been doing the 30 day shred and guess what I'm down to 130. Amazing. I wish I could tell it in my clothes but I can't that much. I thought doing cardio would help me lose weight faster instead of strength/toning routines but I was wrong. I've increased my hand weights from 1.5 pounds to 5 pounds on most of the moves. I did the trouble zone one again today and was able to complete the first 4 circuits with little problems. I'm sure my triceps are going to be sore since it was the first time with the 5 pound weights on those moves. The test will be how sore I am tomorrow. So my work out routine is I do Jillian 4 days and treadmill one day. I sure do miss my reading time though. I do need to get stronger though because I am such a weakling. It's embarrassing at times. I always thought exercising would give me more energy but it actually wipes me out. I am so tired come noon and I drag the rest of the day. I'm usually ready for bed at 9 but can't go to bed that early because then I don't get anything I want to do done so I drag through it all. I do take a nap usually on Tuesdays with the kids.

Finances: Neil and I made some financial goes for the next 10 years, one being to pay off the house within the next 7. It will definitely be hard but doable. I just need to be disciplined. I say I because Neil spends no money. One day I was just reading some friend's blogs and came across a missionary one and it had a picture of the mission president and his family and they were a young family. Not much older than me it seemed and I couldn't help but wonder how they were able to afford to go on a mission. Were they just independently wealthy and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I could not shake it that you don't have to be wealthy to be completely debt free just wise with what the Lord gives you. I can't help but think about all the ways we could serve the Lord if we had no debt. I feel like Neil and I have been good with our money but we could be doing a lot better so I began reading a lot of financial books. We decided to go to the cash system. We don't use our credit card for anything anymore. We used to use our Visa for everything because we got cash back each year so it was a little savings account. We paid the card off every month so I thought it was harmless. I knew you spent more using credit just didn't realize how much more. So we allot so much money to the different categories and when the cash is gone I can't spend anymore. Well the very first of February there were some huge sales on meat and Sam's club had a week where anyone could go and buy stuff with no surcharge. Needless to say by Feb. 1st almost all my grocery money was gone for the month. I had set aside money for the produce co-op and had about enough money left to buy milk for 2 weeks. I knew this meant that I could not go to the store the whole month except for milk. For me I knew this would be hard. I have a hard time when there is a good deal. Allison says it's an addiction well this month I proved her wrong. I can control myself. I have to insert that we've included the Lord in on our goals and have asked for his help. I knew I didn't have enough money for milk the whole month so I just figured we'd use our instant milk and see how the boys take it but a little blessing came. I got a gold envelope from Smith's, which I've never gotten before, and inside was a reward for more than enough to cover the milk for the last two weeks plus some other items like eggs. It may seem trivial but what a blessing. I could have easily taken money from another category to cover our grocery costs but I didn't want to. I want to stick to our goals. I was really happy as well to know that I have plenty of food at my house to provide for my family as well as others. Grant, Steph, Beka and Matt came up 2 Sundays ago out of the blue. I did not know they were coming yet I was able to throw together a decent meal if I do say so myself. Now that makes me happy. So tomorrow is March 1st and I am so excited to be able to go shopping again! I still can't believe I never went shopping all month and we ate pretty good. I love having a food storage. I just want to get a pressure canner so I can bottle meats. Then I wouldn't have to rely on my freezer.

Mikey: Mikey has been so good this last month. Both Neil and I have been praying fervently over this kid and an answer came. As I watched him a lot of his anger was focused at his brothers. He just wanted to play with and they did not want to play with him. He was too little. The thought came to me that he just wants to be big. Along with that thought came to have my very own little preschool with him when Conner and Sam are gone. I've doing this for the last three weeks and it has made the biggest difference. Mikey calls it "Baby School". We sing songs, work on writing his name, letters, alphabet, colors, cutting, etc. We have story time, snack time, craft time and choosing time (basically the end of school when he gets to choose something to play with and I can go do what I want to). He always puts his projects in his back pack to show his brothers and dad when they get home. Now at the dinner table, Neil can ask all the kids how their day at school went and Mikey gets to answer. He loves it and we giggle a lot. It's pretty low key but just what he needs. I spend about an hour with him. I'd really like to come up with some lessons around a theme but haven't gotten that far yet. It has been a hard adjustment for me. That used to be my surfing the internet time but it's now my Mikey time. With my new goals, I'm finding I have less and less time to do what I want but I'm trading it for things that are way better. Internet for Mikey. There's no arguing which is the better choice. He's still doing so good with his potty training. He loves to change his underwear throughout the day though. That kind of drives me crazy but they're clean so I've started putting them back in his drawer.

Laundry: I have failed miserably at this. My goal was to do one load a day. I did good for about 4 days and then fell behind and it stacked up. Last week I finally caught up after doing laundry all day for two days. The thing with not keeping up with laundry is that the first thing that gets put in hamper is the last thing to get washed so I had been looking for a skirt and could not find it. Finally found it when I washed the last load and it had been in the hamper for over a month. I don't know if I'll ever get a handle on laundry. I just loathe it.

Cleaning: Another area I struggle with is cleaning. The more kids I have the messier the house gets and I can't keep on top of it. I wish I was the perfect homemaker but this is another weakness. Along with financial books I've been reading some great parenting books and one said it's all about training your kids and gave a list of what kids can and should be expected to do at various ages. Before this month I had just accepted the fact that Conner was lazy and there's nothing I could do about it. I decided it was time they learned to clean and really deep clean. So I've started with their bathroom and the kitchen floor. For the last two weeks on Saturday mornings before they can play or do anything they have to clean and since we've made the reward an hour of wii time they've been so excited and motivated. They actually fight over who gets to clean the toilet and mirror. Neil calls me the bathroom Nazi because I do expect perfection in there since it is the guest bathroom as well. I have a 20 item list of instructions on how to clean the bathroom that they have to follow. They are doing such a good job and in another couple of weeks they'll be able to do it on their own with no help or encouragement from us and then hopefully I can add something else to their repertoire. I have to say this has been so liberating. If I can get the kids to clean I don't have to beat myself up about it always being a dump because it won't be.

Sickness: February is always our sick month. I got sick for several days. Lucy's been constantly sick. Nothing serious just a nasty running nose and ear infections. I wish I could turn that faucet off. It is so gross. Conner, Sam and Mikey in turn all had their days in bed resting. Neil is the only one who hasn't been sick. I am so ready for the spring.

Hobbies: I actually started sewing a blanket for Lucy. I didn't know if she was going to get a baby blanket. I messed up with my measuring so it's taking longer but it's been fun. I have material to make windowseat cushions for our three seats. That's my next project. I've been reading a lot more, something I've really missed.

Spirituality: I used to stay up so late and was just fitting in my scripture study anywhere and it wasn't very meaningful but now I read scriptures, pray and ponder for the first 30 minutes of the day. It really helps me gain a peaceful feeling that doesn't always last very long but at least it's there. I've really been trying to listen and acknowledge the answers to my prayers and blessings that come into my life no matter how small and my testimony has grown so much. I know the Lord is aware of me but I'm really realizing it and seeing it in the smallest ways.

Social: One area I've been struggling with is social anxiety I would call it. I have struggled with it my whole life. At times it's nonexistent and other times it takes over my life. It has creeped back and the last two months especially I've had a hard time. It's one of those silent battles others never know about. I've gotten to the point where I avoid people and don't or won't go to things because I don't want to talk to anyone. I just don't know what to say. It's hard to explain and it sounds so stupid when you don't suffer from it. But it's something I'm working on and always will. I am thankful for the Lord and his tender mercies. I did not go visiting teaching in janurary partly because of it. I just could not pick up the phone and call and I love visiting teaching. I really wanted to go this month but yesterday was my last chance and I just could not get up the courage to talk to my sisters who I love and am friends with. (Too bad my companion struggles like I do). I pleaded that morning for courage to talk to my sisters and had opportunities at church but just couldn't and so I'm sitting there beating myself up and pleading again with the Lord in my heart and one of my sisters comes up and asks if I was still her visiting teacher. She didn't know because a lot of things had been changed. Her coming to me was all I needed. She was an answer to my prayers and I am so thankful. I was able to visit her and another sister. We were gone for 3 hours. I was kind of grateful our third sister wasn't home because she's the real talker and I would have been gone all night. I hate that I struggle with this. It can make for some awkward moments and I know people end up getting the wrong idea about me. When the Hibberts came over Neil wanted to play this question game (which I hate) and I asked him to please not play it because I knew I was going to have a hard time but he wanted to get to know Matt better. So I'm sure I made everyone nervous and a little awkward so I ended up just having to leave. Luckily it was my mom's birthday and I hadn't talked to her yet so that was good excuse. My favorite scripture has always been Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I know that someday I'll get over this fully and it will be a strength. I long for that day. I'm so glad that "opposites" do attract because Neil is the exact opposite of myself in this regard and I am able to learn so much from him.

Well that's a wrap up of the month: the good, the bad, and yes there was a little bit of ugly. I'm looking forward to March!